I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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