Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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