That's intense
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
