I wish I could teleport
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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