i don't like sucking hair
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
