6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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