I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
it's like heaven, but drunker
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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