a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
