Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
