thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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