and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
two words...techno handjob
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
