"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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