So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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