i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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