Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
