If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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