You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
