I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
