and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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