there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
