so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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