where am i from again
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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