I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
