hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
