CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
