just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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