...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
