just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
