well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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