So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Randomize
