would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
