Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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