We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Floor bacon is actually really good
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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