i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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