I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
nutella sex= disaster
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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