Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
she looked like the before picture.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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