we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
