I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
