it hurts more in the daytime
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
