yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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