idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
