forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
