All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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