The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
