sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
