Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
