Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
