My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Let's get the cat blown out
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
