Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
