She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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